Window Shopping...

On my way to the library I saw this cuuute jacket...just thought I'd share :-)))


- Checking in from my iPhone...I love everyone's feedback!

Carnage...

CARNAGE: the Slaughter of a great number of people, as in battle; massacre

Since I began blogging I've been trying to expand my vocabulary so it will give me more leverage in getting my point across on posts. The dictionary/thesaurus app on my phone is my best friend! When you have an expansive vocab, it eliminates a lot of "like" "umm" "that thing" "you know what I'm saying" out of everyday conversation.

As I'm reading Decoded, I'm on the section "Politics As Usual"...Jay spoke on the fact that between 1989 and 1994 more black men were murdered on the streets of America than died in the entire Vietnam War. That was craaaazy to me and we all know there were a lot of killings during the big cocaine and police brutality era but using that analogy shows just how bad things were. I question if things are still the same if not worse OR has the gov't just found a better method at hiding these statistics and "cold cases". "America did not want to talk about the human damage, or deeper causes of the carnage". Which is when censorship of rap music came into place...a lot of topics expressed in rap were MOST of the times real situations taking place in black communities all over.

Kanye & Our Fears reflected thru Judgements of Others...

*YAWNING*

Waking up at insanely crazy times of morning is becoming the norm so I figure why not blog. I happened to be on FB and I was watching a video upload on REALTALKNY website, from Kanye's album release concert in NY last night, which provoked me to post on a topic I had been discussing earlier this week. Before I go into that since it was inspired by something Kanye said (4:48 in vid) I'll give some props to Kanye and his new album 'My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy'....this has to be one of the best album's of the year!! Kanye put his all into this one, I'm sure he does with all his albums but I feel all the controversy, from the past year hell his whole career, made him work even harder. He had time to deal with pinned up anger, issues and emotions and it definitely spilled onto this Amazing album. He had some of the best artist to help him out from Teyana Taylor to Elton John. No matter how bad the media bashes Kanye he is a genius who is trying to find a medium between being true to himself and being "media friendly"...impossible if you ask me. The media will bash anything or anyone that poses a threat to the "norm" in any way. Most artists (not just musicians) have a hard time creating without offending the masses...we are all hedonistic most of the times so in order to feel self gratified we tend to offend others in the process. Take a look at the clip and you be the judge, which leads to my next topic....

Are we the cause of our lack of success deriving from our judgments of others?? When I say that, I'm asking do our biggest fears come from the negative views, thoughts ect. we pass on others? We all know in order to progress you need others but it's hard to get over yourself when you feel other's won't accept who you REALLY are or they will view you the same way you view others. I know as a society we can be very judgmental which is mainly provoked by the news, blogs, reality shows ect. It's always worrying about the negatives and pointing out the next persons flaws. But are we doing this to take the light away from our flaws or to make us feel better about ourselves? We all try to give off a feint of confidence and strength but we are all dealing with some sort of insecurity, some more than others...

When we talk about people, myself included, all it does is hurts us in the end. That same negative thought or comment you made about 'her/him' is the same thought that's going to run through your mind when you are trying to go for that next promotion, the next networking event, competition or just a request for help. We will think "are they going to like me", "they are going to say no", "I'm not good enough for this group", "I have too many issues", "they look better than me" and the list goes on...Some of these worries are the norm but most of the time they are our thoughts coming back to haunt us. Lately I've been trying to control my thoughts when I see something I don't necessarily agree with because I remember I will be in a position at some point to be judged and I don't want everything to be unfavorable. I try my hardest to see that ONE good thing in the situation or individual that you can't find off first glance. That deeper look may be that deeper look someone gives me when I am under the microscope.

Every individual has layers so we should practice getting beyond the surface...the ones who look the best may have some very interesting under layers while the one who seems to have issues and not so easy on the eye may have the answer or connection you need to move you to that next level of success!

Lengthy post but i've been thinking about this for a while....thx for reading!!! :-))))

I Love to Read...

I finally received my Decoded book! Flipping thru the book there are tons of amazing pics as well as lots and lots to read. I initially assumed the book would solely be filled with images but i was mistaken, ill be reading for a while. I included a few pages from the book...Jay has done it again :-)


One of the greatest...Notorious B.I.G


All Black Everything...this movement was inspired by his love for the Black Panther Party



We all know Politics can be a bitch!

- Checking in from my iPhone...I love everyone's feedback!

Kid Cudi....

This blogging thing is getting even more exciting...I'm learning how to add new features as far as videos and audio clips other than youtube.

I've been listening to Kid Cudi's new album "Man On The Moon II" and it is DOPE! I listened to a couple tracks on his last album "Man On The Moon" but not the entire album but I took a interest in Cudi when I saw a video of him inebriated in the streets of LA (I think). Then he was on 106 & Park acting very outlandish, he has admitted to using coke in the past...I'm thinking he may still be enjoying those highs 0_o

Listening to his album...it seems as if he's crying out for help. I understand him a lot more and I'm sure plenty of people can relate to his life and the cause of his actions. One of my favorite songs, other than Ashin' Kusher (banger!), is 'Trapped In My Mind' I've included the song below...I feel everyone can relate in some way to this song....

"Trapped In My Mind" - Kid Cudi by dustinnguyen

A verse that stuck out to me as far as myself is "I'm stuck in rewind though I'm looking forward man I wish I knew what went wrong"....I deal with this all the time! Trying to move forward and become better but my mind won't allow me to. But I have to take control of my thoughts and mind, like I've said before the mind is a very powerful thing! I'm always thinking "what if I would have..." thinking about things I could've done differently or not done at all where would I be. But I can't continue focusing on that because what has happened is over and done with and it's a reason or a lesson behind it all. Jay Z (oops I mentioned him again) said it best "in order to survive you gotta learn to live with regrets".

We all have reasons behind every negative choice we've made, words we say but once it's done it's done. I'm ok when I'm having my good days and I'm on Cloud 9 but on those low days that's when I rewind thoughts and get down on myself. I have to start using my low days as times to strengthen my mind and thoughts. Constantly and Consciously replacing negative thoughts with positive ones....

Lengthy post...I know! By the way the picture above is a pic I took for my photography class, it goes perfect with the "Man On The MOON II" album title #random

Last Hovi Post...Promise

I know I have been bombarding my blog with Jay Z content but since his book was released this week tons of people have been interviewing him! The best interview was done by Howard Stern...this is a 57min interview but he dug deep into a lot of situations regarding Jay. Usually I notice Jay Z is able to talk around subjects he doesn't want to discuss but for this interview he answered all the questions the blunt Howard Stern came at him with. After my Dad heard this interview, he even became a fan (on the low) lol He's also a loyal listener to the Howard Stern show...IDK how he does it, that man can be too obnoxious at times. Anywhooo...ENJOY!

PoeticEeshBeesh...LOL!

I tried to walk alone never knowing where I was going

I went from wanting to be a pediatrician to a computer tech

From a photographer to model then settling for baby mama; only for security, ohh how silly of me

I loved to get high, not on Mary anymore, but from my plans that went right out the door

I never achieved because I really didn’t believe

I didn’t believe because I knew none of it was really for me, got tired of going around in circles

Still living life with no purpose...Going no where fast still finishing last

I always wanted more for myself but I had to learn first to get over myself

Truly making God my focus, life stop feeling so hopeless

Wiping my hands of all my future plans, all past memories blown away like sand

Still a work in progress but determined not to regress

Surrendering was the best choice yet, armoring myself against all threat

No more morbid convos that stirs up trouble as fast as the time goes

They say what’s in you will pour out....so so true without a doubt

I am so blessed, how dare I put God through all this stress??

I’ve apologized for all my mess now I’m letting HIM take care of the rest!!

Decoded SOLD OUT Nationwide!

My book didn't come in yesterday! It should be at my house this afternoon (prayerfully)...but I did find Jay's interview with Letterman that came on last night, the night of him selling out nationwide of his new DECODED book.

Jay Z's interviewing style is so funny to me...very witty!


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DECODED...

Everyone knows how I am about Jay Z and anything that has to do with him...I pre-ordered Decoded and I'm impatiently awaiting it's arrival! I came across this video where he speaks on SUCCESS and how people close to you react when THEY (I meant), YOU change.

Please provide feedback...if u agree or disagree! If you have experienced this, how did it affect you and what did you do to please yourself or those involved.

"Most young Kings (Queens lol) get their heads cut off"....Jay describes how the people close to you feel as if you have changed when you reach a certain level of success or in your journey to success. Why stay the same if you are trying to become better?? How can you reach your full potential hanging around people who aren't going in the same direction? Is changing wrong?? My opinion is no, as long as it's for the better and you are being true to yourself. People will have something to say whether you are doing good or bad so why not do YOU...their going to talk anyways. We need to get out of the mindset of wanting to be liked and accepted so much that we will be unhappy on the inside as long as it looks good on the outside. Society has popularized "image" so much that we will do anything to make something look good no matter how faux we really are. People always talk about "keep it real" but the question is who are we keeping it real with? Definitely not ourselves....

Maybe we as individuals need to DECODE ourselves and we can see who we really are and what we believe in then it will be easier to move on and feel good about the CHANGES we make because it's all done in the pursuit of pure happiness. And only those who genuinely care for us will understand.

Take a look at the video and tell me what you think! ENJOY!
(for the ppl who r looking for the video, when you click on the word SUCCESS that is underlined it will direct you to the video)

Quickie....

Just wanted to spread some positive energy this morning! I'm in a really good mood despite the rain...I've been reading this book "Secrets of Six Figured Women" and it has given me so much hope for a change for the future. I just have to take the steps to get where I need to go and step away from the unfamiliar. That's what I've been practicing all of 2010 as seen in past blogs.

Always try to start the day out with positive readings or music...it definitely makes a difference. Now I'm getting back to work...

Spread love...give out what you are seeking to find! "Pay it forward"

Spending Time w/ ME...

Today I took out time for me before I headed to my photography class. Went to Chevy's and had me a couple half price drinks *fist pump* for spending less $$! I had some BBQ wings, half price on those too! We all need to take out time for ourselves...often. Whether it's taking a ride in the car, taking a walk or even taking yourself on a date. You get to know yourself and think about life, goals, things you need to improve or you can just clear your head of all of life's problems for that little bit of time.

I remember when I wouldn't be caught anywhere by myself, I thought that was the most lame thing going somewhere alone. Now I have no problem, certain places you would rather have company but I can say I enjoy going out to eat alone. Hanging out alone builds confidence, helps you make more rational decisions when spending money and it also makes you more approachable. You can network better when alone, some people get intimidated when having to approach a group of people and we have a tendency to be a little more friendlier when we are by ourselves.

So take some time out at least once a month to get to know YOU a little better....you will be surprised what you find out!

Dad knows Best...

"A secret is not a secret once you've told it to someone else"

No matter how hard people try to hold things in it rarely happens. Some people just can't keep secrets for various reasons...they just frankly can't hold water, others just talk so much they don't think about what they are saying and some just like to feel important as if they have the latest juicy gossip. But whatever the reasoning are, if there is something you don't want to get out keep it to YOURSELF, write it down, tell GOD and if it makes you feel better tell him "pssst don't tell this to nooobody" but the minute you repeat it to someone else expect it to come out sooner or later. Or of course, you could kill them after you tell it then surely it will not to get beyond the two of you LOL!

Just one of my random posts, the older I get all of my Dad's words, sayings and teachings become even more valuable. #DADSROCK!