Wednesday, February 16, 2011


"Do you wanna be my boy/girlfriend" check YES or NO...

Do titles help or hurt "friendships" and potential relationships? I had just been randomly thinking, as always, and I wondered is having a title on a relationship a big deal?? I feel there are pros and cons but to me, when it boils down a title is just something to make the other partner accountable for their actions. I feel both parties having a CLEAR understanding is way more important than a title.

As you get older, no one really says "Ok today on February 16 we are now officially a couple" but where or when do you know you are exclusive with that person? A lot of times we don't realize we are exclusive until one day you look up like damn this is the only person I have a desire to be with but the question is does the person you're "dating" feel the same? Sometimes when there is no title it's an easy out if one gets caught up talking to or having sex with an outsider. That's where the understanding comes in...i feel these things should be kind of discussed once you find yourself consistently hanging out and talking on an everyday basis. it's easy to assume and then when things change you're kind of stuck because it's like, welllll do I say something or don't I...

A lot of times when we enter friendships we have no idea what direction that will go in. Women, not all but many, have a habit of not setting boundaries or stating their likes and dislikes as a way to make the guy feel 100% comfortable and to not cause confusion in the beginning. That is the is ok to say what you don't like or don't feel is acceptable. now, don't expect the guy to immediately change...if ever. But at least he will know what you expect if things do happen to progress and he will know what he's getting himself into up front. A lot of guys fear that once they put that stamp on the relationship being together becomes a chore and the dynamic changes drastically. The minute it's stamped then the female runs down this long list of do's and don'ts! So that's why at times commitment seems unattractive because everything changes. And that should not be the case...of course certain actions should be cut back but for the most part both parties should be on the same page by the time and commitment is made.

You don't place standards later, you set them in the beginning then that will make for a smoother transition. Me personally, I don't get caught up on titles because I like for things to just flow naturally BUT I do see why they could be important when dealing with someone who isn't being all the way up front about their "extracurricular" activities. Once that title gets spoken up the guy knows he needs to tie up any loose ends and even with a title that is not guaranteed! Some people will just give the title, to get the other person off their back but still doing them on the I guess it's a no win situation. the key is OPEN AND HONEST communication, understanding and trust. Do what is best for YOU and your situation not what everyone else says you should do.

Everything does not work for everybody...

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