Sunday, January 16, 2011

MUST READ: Bereolaesque....

I was up bright and early this morning reading my new 'Bereolaesque: The Comtemporary Gentleman & Etiquette Book for the Urban Sophisticate' and I am half way through it already. I first heard about this book via twitter, someone had retweeted a tip from @bereolaesque so I was scrolling through the timeline and came across the link to the book. I immediately went on Amazon and I don't think I saw one bad review. I'm an avid reader, at this point in my life I'm more into self help books but I love reading about anything and learning tons of new information. This book is in a way geared to helping boys transition into men while still exuding style, class while being true to THEMSELVES....

Even though I'm a female I still feel it was a good read to get a males point of view and it was also good to see that my views of male etiquette weren't just me being a picky female. There is basics that some "boys" don't have and it is unacceptable at a certain age. When social events, business meetings, group dinners ect. are the norm no one wants to take a guy out with them who will embarrass them with rude, sloppy damn near barbaric ways. I will be passing this book on to some males I know who could use a little more coaching in some areas to pull out their inner sophistication.

There were tons of quotes that I loved in the book but the one that stood out to me the most, so far is "Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot" ~ Clarence Thomas This is so true because no one wants to help or associate with rude individuals. But if you make yourself a pleasant person to be around others will go above and beyond to give you opportunities that you feel you aren't worthy of. We always think we have to have these amazing skills and talents but a lot of people get "hooked up" because of a small friendly gesture and humility. At times we feel we have to change who we are to fit in when that isn't necessary, you can still be YOU while displaying proper behavior and etiquette. I just look at Russell Simmons, he may have one of the most potty mouthes out there but he knows when and where to do it....he is being himself....he is generous and helps others and makes others feel comfortable around him. We all know how successful he is, so I said that to say you don't have to walk around uptight and fake but just know how to turn certain actions off and on at the right time.


We all have fallen victim to wanting to portray a certain image that may not always coincide with whom we really are. As stated in the book "We become so wrapped in our image that we fail to realize who we really are; we become completely lost. At this point we are more comfortable living as our image - alter ego - than accepting our own realities. " This is soooo true! I know I have found myself succumbing to the pressure of maintaining a certain image but it is very draining. I've also seen that most of the time when you be who YOU really are people actually take more to that because it is not fake. You also attract the type of individuals who are like you versus the people who like the fake you because in reality you all really have nothing in common. We have to look at ourselves in the mirror and find out "who am I"...."what do I like"...."how do I want to dress"....."what career do I want to pursue" and the list goes on. This comes from spending time by yourself. If you are always around people 24/7 it is easy to be persuaded to think there is ONE right or wrong image. You get caught up in other people's success thinking you have to take that same path. What works for one, may not be the best for the other. Then once you obtain things that others have that you wanted so much you realize...shit I still feel empty, now what do I do?? But to the people on the outside you look like you have it all together.

Once you focus on the inner you, your outer image will naturally line up with what's inside. You become satisfied and begin to love your differences. Why be a carbon copy, we all have so much to contribute so we have to find our own place in the world to fulfill ourselves and purpose in life!!

Didn't expect this post to be long but 'it is what it is'....Check out the Bereolaesque book which can be purchased on Amazon!

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