Ok God! I hear you...LOUD AND CLEAR! I've been praying lately for God to help me to discern my voice from his in my head as well as the courage to actually LISTEN, not only HEAR what He's telling me. Boy did he work fast on that request. I am a terrible over thinker so I'm always in my own head which is where the difficulty comes when trying to Listen to God's guidance.
Lately there are a couple situations that have come back to my mind that I had written off and moved on from. They have been in my mind heavy and to the point where I want(ED) to seek my own revenge. When people do or say things that I feel aren't right, I don't forget! I may move on and it will not be anything that bothers me but when a situation comes up those actions pop right back in my head. It gets to me even more when I know things or have ways where I could get revenge on that person at any moment. I'm not an angel but one thing I don't like to do is intentionally hurt anyone's feelings or worse so I get mad at myself because I feel I bite my tongue too much when I know a person is really weak but do things to portray otherwise.
Yesterday, we went to church...at 8am might I add lol there was a guest preacher and part of his message spoke on LEARNING TO FORGET! This was the day after I prayed for God to help me to hear and LISTEN to his guidance. The preacher was saying how many of us can't forget anything and most of the times we replay one thing in our head thousands of times which magnifies that one wrong doing and makes it feel like the person is constantly doing this thing to us. He also said we need to learn to forget and let God handle them and sometimes he'll allow you to watch them get dealt with by him. Seeking our own revenge only takes away from our blessings and I can not allow that to happen. I am very blessed and I have to be sure to keep what's important in the forefront of my thoughts.
THENNN...this morning I was watching an interview on the breakfast club and Terence Howard was on the show speaking on a movie that he's working on that has to do with REVENGE. Once I heard that, I immediately logged into blogspot and got to typing! He said: "Revenge is violence against your own soul" and he also said you end up having to apologize in the long run so why do it in the beginning. People end up suffering worse when you let time handle them. Lord knows it's not easy but I can say I will make a conscious effort to stop replaying things in my mind, I have to be a conscious thinker or else my thoughts will have me doing and saying all types of crazy mess!
Just thought I'd share because I know we all want to get pay back but most times, that pay back doesn't feel as good once it's done.